You know that old saying, "be careful what you wish for"? Most people, myself included, blow it off. But what if you actually got what you wished for, and then decided you didn't want it after all?
While in Haiti this summer I was mesmerized by the happiness of the nationals. Most of them lived on $2 or less a day. The lady I smiled at on the street only had one meal that day. The children tugging at my hands were orphans. The handicapped beggar on the street lost his leg during the earthquake. The lady selling plantains in the market was raising her six children alone. One thing they all had in common? An infectious smile and grateful personality. They were happy to be alive and their laughs were contagious. Through the eyes of an American, they had nothing to be smiling about. Then I went to a Haitian church service....
There was dancing, shouting, hands lifted and strong preaching. This was genuine worship and prayer! Children sat on the wooden benches, hands folded and prayed to their Father. Women danced in worship. The choir raised their hands and sang in unison. The band swayed as the congregation clapped along to the music. The preacher brought strong words and had everyone nodding their heads in agreement. I truly felt the Spirit there, in a nation that was so poor and marginalized. I sat in tears as I watched the Haitian nationals worship and thank God for what they had. My mind was even further blown when they gave two offerings; one for the church and one for the poor in the village. The ride home from service that day was quiet as we all thought about what we'd just been a part of.
After church that day I wished to be able to worship, pray and praise God like the Haitians did, even in the midst of seemingly having nothing. I asked God to help me understand how they could be so content with having so little. I wanted to have the heart they did and be able to trust God, even in the midst of terrible times.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13
American churches often use Philippians 4:13 out of context and ignore the previous verses. The Haitian people live out these verses on a daily basis. They are in need and hungry, but are content because they have the strength of the Lord.
Three months after asking God to help me be content with so little, I'm in need. I am in NO WAY in dire need like the Haitians, but it's still a struggle. I'm living on my last dollars and trying my hardest to be content. Like Paul said in Philippians, I know what it is to have plenty. After you have had plenty, being in need is very hard. My desire was to be able to worship and praise God with all I have, despite hard circumstances. I'm nowhere near the happiness of my Haitian friends and family, but I got what I asked for. And guess what? I don't like it!
In church we sing "all I need is you," "you're more than enough," etc., but do we really mean it? Do we really believe that Jesus is enough in times of need, or are these empty words we sing? I believe Jesus provides and saw it first-hand last month when I received a gift to pay my monthly bills when I didn't have the funds to pay them myself. On the days when I'm at my lowest, God sends someone or something to push me to keep going. Sometimes those people are my Haitian friends. We keep in contact over Facebook and they always want to know how I'm doing. I am honest with them and it makes me feel terrible. How can I complain about not being able to find a job when the unemployment rate in Haiti is over 80%, I have a roof over my head and have three meals a day? They listen and encourage me anyway. Their encouragement is so amazing and blows me away. I think about what they go through on a daily basis and they're encouraging ME to push on and stay positive. How?! It's never their own encouragement, but encouragement from the Word! Many people think Haiti is a spiritually dark place, but here is another example of the light shining through that I love so much!
Every day I'm learning how to be content like my Haitian friends and family and thank God for the things I do have, instead of complaining about what I don't have. I'm a worry wart, but I noticed that's another thing the Haitians don't seem to have. Instead of worrying, they pray and trust God. I'm telling you, we have A LOT to learn from Haitians and other poor people groups in the world. Looking at them in pictures and videos, we think they have nothing and feel sorry for them. Get to know them and you'll feel sorry for yourself and realize you are missing so much that they have. I lack the complete trust and faith they have because I let myself get in the way. I can't praise God and be happy with what I have like they can because I'm worried about not having a job to pay the bills. Instead of worrying, I need to give it to God. I'll leave you with this passage that I always turn to in times of need.
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." Luke 12:28-31
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