"Why do you do it?"

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question, I'd be a millionaire. "Why do you do it?" 'It' is referring to service, specifically at Dallas LIFE homeless shelter. The most recent time I was asked this question was Wednesday night.

As I sat on the couch with my head held low and cupped in my hands in frustration, the guy I've been dating asked the million-dollar question. "If you feel like this, then why do you do it?" I pushed my hair back, leaned up, looked into his eyes and gave him a small smile. "Because I love them and we need each other!"

'Them' is referring to the precious kids I've gotten to know during the month of July in the reading program. As much as I love them, they also drive me crazy at times! Haha One of these times was Wednesday night. For the first time since beginning to volunteer there in October 2012, I lost my cool. After being bitten, slapped on the arm and not listened to, I lined up every child and marched them down to the security office. Despite my frustration, my heart broke as they looked up at me with sad and confused eyes. All but three got in trouble and as I turned my back and left the office, I knew they'd see me differently.

But I love them! Jesus loves them! And we all need reprimanding and grace.

Walking out of Dallas LIFE that night was one of the hardest and most upsetting things I've had to do. I was mad, frustrated, hurt and sad, all at the same time. Is this how God feels when he reprimands us? We're His children and don't always listen to Him. We fight Him on a daily basis and ignore His words and advice, which leads us to trouble and consequences. When we are caught up in the trouble we brought on ourselves, we often question God and it has to break His heart. But he shows grace. Abounding, wonderful grace. He picks us up and comes back for us. No matter what we do, how much we fight or push back, He will never leave us.

I am in NO WAY comparing myself to God, but I am going to show just a sliver of the grace that He gives. The head of security was concerned I may not come back, but nothing these kids do will keep me from coming back to Dallas LIFE. Sure, I was frustrated and wanted to pull my hair out, but those kids have my heart. What I have with them far outweighs one bad night and I'm pretty sure I need them more than they need me.

So why do I do it? Making bean bag forts is fun. You're never too old to color, watch Disney movies or build with Lego's. Singing Beyonce songs at the top of your lungs in the library is more fun than reading (shhh!). Being in a room full of giggles and squeals makes my heart smile. Helping a child learn to read is a great reward. Hugs from little people are the best!

Because the same Jesus who died for my sins is the same Jesus who died for their sins and they need to know that. If I don't tell them, then who will? I can't imagine growing up in a homeless shelter and feeling sad and hopeless at times. My desire is to provide them an escape and to teach them about the love, grace and hope they have in Christ. THAT is why I do it!!