One is the loneliest number? But what if "one" could turn your world upside down and change your life?
One smile: It's a sweltering afternoon in Ferrier, Haiti and a small girl in a purple crushed velvet dress wanders into the guest house. Her hair is full of blue bows; part of her school uniform from earlier in the day. Her thin body wanders over to where our group is meeting and takes a seat on the bench next to me. I look over and she looks back up at me and gives the most beautiful smile. Her white teeth stand out against her dark skin as she shyly says hello. Jeniflo. Her smile melted my heart and from that moment on, she was my buddy for the remainder of the trip. I visited her during recess at school and afternoons were full of talking, learning Creole, singing and drawing on the front porch. One smile was all it took.
One week: It's only 2% of a year, but it can affect the other 98%. One week was all it took to confirm my love. One week of dirt roads, cold showers, laughter, the cutest children, solar panels, extremely hot weather, water pumps, tears, worshiping, giant bugs, riding all forms of transportation (motorcycle, walking, bed of a pickup, horse, airplane and hitchhiking), different foods, spotty electricity, new friendships and serving. One week of living in Ferrier stole my heart forever.
One person: A servant's heart that brought the Kingdom to earth. Gave up his comfortable life in America to serve "the least of these" in Ferrier. An inspiring heart and willingness to serve every single day, despite how he was feeling. His dry, witty and sarcastic humor provided laughs throughout the entire trip. Absolutely losing it in a fit of tears from laughter at lunch in Turks and laughing at me as I was escorted away for more security checks at the airport. Seth Dorrell. A life that ended too soon, but ONE that impacted MANY. One person can change the world and his life is proof.
One month: One month back in the United States. Crazy how fast time flies!! And a lot has changed. The little things I never gave a second thought to before are now blessings. Clean water from the sink to brush my teeth. Air conditioning to keep me cool. Hundreds of options for food. Things I think are necessities, but are actually luxuries for most of the world. One month later and life is uncomfortable in the U.S. Some people say this feeling and emotions will eventually wear off, but I hope it doesn't. God broke my heart and I fell in love with the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Which brings me to a big announcement:
Upon arrival at DFW, my mother immediately knew I was different. "God told you you were supposed to be in Haiti, didn't He?" She was, and is, SO right! Last week I started the process of becoming a full-time missionary. I don't know what the time table looks like for this, but I have signed up for a TESOL class to get started. This would certify me to teach English as a second/optional language overseas. I also had a lunch meeting with some friends who are home on furlough and they gave me wonderful advice and information. While in Haiti, God revealed I could use my passion for empowering women and providing clean water. I am in the process of researching agencies who focus on these issues while spreading the Gospel. Please be in prayer that God would guide me in selecting an agency/mission board, provide the financial means for this new life, give me patience for the process and for my family. Thankfully my immediate family is very supportive of this!!
One smile, one week, one person, one month and one decision changed my life. But one person made this all happen: Jesus Christ. He began molding my heart for this years ago and now it's coming to fruition. While this is an exciting time, I'll be honest, it's also very scary. A lot of things will change. I'll have to give up things I never thought I could. My life will be radically different, but I'm so ready to see what God has planned. Thanks for reading and I hope you will be my prayer warriors and support system through this process! :)
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
My Love Haiti Relationship
I've been back in the States almost two weeks and finally feel ready to lay it out there and share details about the trip to Haiti and how it changed me. There were so many things that happened on this trip. If I shared everything, this post would be extremely long so I'm just going to share the high points and if you want to know more, just ask. :)
My group of six arrived in Haiti on May 22nd. We all threw our luggage into the bed of a pickup and hopped in. The ride to our guest house was a little over an hour. On the main road to the house, we passed the farm my mom lived on and I swore I would visit there before we left. The house we stayed at was on the compound of a school, which brings me to my first high point.
1. This is Bidjins Forest, the child I sponsor through Mission Waco/Mission World. When we arrived at our house, I noticed the kids at the school wore uniforms that looked very similar to the one Bidjins wore in the pictures I have. I found the one teacher who spoke good English at the school and asked if he went there. He did!!! She called him out in front of everyone. As Bidjins came to the front of the crowd, I could feel my heart exploding and my eyes filling with tears. He was so precious and perfect, and also very embarrassed!! Bidjins doesn't know English so she explained to him who I was in Creole. After learning who this crazy white girl was, he gave me a smile and hugged me. Knowing that he attended school on the same land I was living on made me feel so happy. I could look out at him playing during break every day and know that I was an important part of his life, even if he didn't realize it yet.
2. This is Jeniflo. Her mother died from HIV so her aunt took her and her siblings into her home. Between her siblings and her cousins, there are eight people living in her little hut. Her family is the poorest in the village of Ferrier and they live beside the dump. Despite her difficulties, Jeniflo is so upbeat and always has a smile on her face and is laughing. She visited us every day and immediately connected with me. We hung out every afternoon talking, walking and playing in the streets, drawing and napping on the porch. This picture is special to me because I got to put my tattoo to use. Many of the kids were curious about it, including Jeniflo. A church in Waco donated a suitcase of Creole Bibles so I went inside and grabbed one, which is what's in my hand. Thankfully I knew enough Creole that I knew how to pronounce a simple sentence. I looked up Romans 1:16 and read it to her then sang and taught her "Jesus Loves Me."Jeniflo responded with her beautiful smile, a hug, a praise song in Creole and by proclaiming me her madrina (godmother). I miss her warm hugs and smile every single day. She's one of the main reasons I can't wait to return to Haiti very soon.
3. We did a lot of different activities while in Ferrier. Part of the group were engineering students from Baylor. They assembled solar panels and mounted them on the roof. This provided the guest house and school with power. Before the solar panels were installed, we didn't have electricity for a few days and relied on generators. Two or three nights I showered in the dark with my flashlight! The main activity I participated in was taking water samples. Millions of people around the world still don't have access to clean water. This causes a lot of health problems including chronic diarrhea, malnutrition, stunted growth and diseases. Ferrier and the country of Haiti has a problem with lack of access to clean water. We took samples from runoff, as seen in this picture, the river, private wells and water pumps throughout the village. Back at the guest house we had reagents that we put in the water and let the samples sit for 24-48 hours. If the water turned black, it was unsafe to drink. Many of our samples turned black so hundreds of the people in Ferrier were drinking unsafe water. Zach and some Haitians would later fix the water pumps and shock the water. We were lucky to have clean drinking water in our home. One day we were all sick and ran out of water before noon! This caused a lot of runs to the water pump and to find a generator to get the water system working again. We take this simple, basic need for granted in America.
4. I am very passionate about women and children issues, which was something I also got to work with but don't have pictures for. Seventy percent of the Haitian population has HIV. SEVENTY PERCENT!! Shannon and I created a skit to be used for HIV education. We picked 10 people out of our group and gave them a piece of cardboard. One side was clean and the other side had an X. I narrated different scenarios and if you contracted HIV, you would flip over the cardboard and reveal the X. By the end, seven of us had an X and the mouths in the audience were open. Seeing the skit puts a face on the statistics. I also helped create birthing kits. Most of the time, women in Haiti give birth at home because they don't have transportation to get to the hospital. Their babies contract HIV or other diseases because they use dirty razors or other materials during the birthing process. Our birthing kits contained a clean razor, an alcohol wipe to sanitize the razor, soap to wash your hands and two pieces of rope to tie off the umbilical cord. All of these items were in a match box that could be kept in the woman's pocket. Getting these materials was an adventure!! Shannon and I went to the store without a translator and bought these items, plus condoms for our HIV education. The store owner couldn't understand why two girls needed condoms. It was hilarious because of the language barrier. On Monday night we had the privilege of going to the microcredit women's meeting. In Haiti, women change lives. If a woman has a great idea, she can change and support her family. These business ventures are funded my microcredit loans and about 50 women meet to talk about their ventures and success. At this meeting, we presented a new idea. In Haiti, a girl drops out of school when she gets her period because she doesn't have access to feminine items and it is embarrassing to go to school. Usually there are no bathrooms so there is no place to clean up. A woman in Florida makes snappy pads that snap into your panties. They are washable and reusable. We took three bags of those and three packages of panties. One woman at the meeting jumped off the front row and put on a pair that we were showing. They were a huge hit!! Coming home from that meeting was also a great experience for the girls in our group. We were sore from riding horses earlier that day so riding in the back of a truck was painful. It didn't help that it had been raining so the roads were a mess and filled with ruts. We held on for our lives and laughed all the way back to the house. This is a memory I will always smile about.
5. Remember earlier I talked about the farm my mom lived on? This is it!! My last full day in Haiti Janet came and got me while I was getting ready for the day. She then took me to the farm and gave me a personal tour and told me stories about her time there with my mom and their group. Some of these stories I had never heard! The pictures my mom had always shown me were coming to life. The farm had been abandoned for about a decade so the Haitians had stolen the toilets, pipes and parts of the buildings. Nothing but goats live there now, but it was still amazing to be where my mom lived for three months. My mom and her group used to sing worship and read their Bibles on the ledge behind me. In the middle of the tour I realized how lucky we are to live in the new guest house and also in America. This house didn't have bathrooms in it. You had to walk 40 yards so doing that while you're sick is almost impossible. At the end of the tour, the emotions and experiences from the whole week hit me and I finally broke down. As the rest of the group met up to walk to town, I got some tissue from someone and walked alone. Seeing the home where my mom lived was an amazing experience, but it was my breaking point.
6. Another moment that I will never forget is a series of moments involving song. Each night we would have a time of worship, testimony and prayer. As the week went on, our Haitian friends would join us. At first it was just a translator or Shadrack, our night guard, but the final night there, all of our cooks, translators and Shadrack joined for worship. Some Haitians learn English by singing old hymns and this was the case with our group. We passed out song sheets and sang together, some in Creole and some in English. The house is made of concrete so the acoustics were absolutely beautiful. We even sang song Creole songs in the closet because the acoustics were better haha It was hard not to cry when hearing some of the engineering students and Walson, our translator, sing Amazing Grace. I can still hear it when I close my eyes.....Another way Haitians learn English is through popular music. One day while we were working, Dalince, one of our translators, started playing Backstreet Boys. Even after not listening to them for 10 years, I naturally sang along. The older people in our group sang and danced to Backstreet Boys for the rest of the week while we worked. Haitians have no idea they aren't together anymore and I wasn't breaking that news to them.
I've always been in love with Haiti. God called me to this country years ago and I have patiently waited to go there. This trip was a test to see if this was really what God wanted for me and if I could make it. I, and the rest of my group, was shocked to see how quickly I fit in. The children flocked to me, I naturally picked up Creole and I danced with some Haitian girls at a party which made me a "real Haitian." And you know what? I was only bit by a mosquito three times and I absolutely LOVED the food, even goat. God broke my heart for this country and its people. They are beautiful and God is very present in Ferrier. Many of the villagers can't afford nice clothes, or any at all during the week, but they will spend multiple week's of salary on an outfit for church. We were all shocked to see the outfits and shoes worn at church. They dress nicer than I do and they're in extreme poverty!! They also worship God so loudly. Looking at them, you'd think they have no reason to praise and every reason to be angry with God, but they're not. The churches are packed there and the worship is loud and fun and Spirit-filled.
It's been very hard being back in America. I haven't adjusted yet and I hope I never do. It took me four nights before I could sleep in my bed because I was uncomfortable. My meal portions have shrunk significantly because of what I saw and experienced in Haiti. My showers have become shorter and using water from the sink to brush my teeth is a gift. Air conditioning and electricity is a blessing I never thought I could live without, but learned I could (fans are wonderful). I learned that a smile, hug and a wave are the same in any language and culture. A thumb used for hitch-hiking is too.
It's hard to explain what I feel now. My mom and friends who have lived in third-world countries say this is normal. Sitting in a very large church in downtown Dallas is uncomfortable to me now and brings me to tears. There are days where I want to just be left alone. Sometimes I read my journal or look through pictures of the trip and weep. I also feel empowered and want to change Haiti. God changed me through this trip to Haiti and I will be forever grateful. I may be an American citizen, but Haiti is my home. He will make a way for me to be in Haiti permanently, I just have to be patient.
My group of six arrived in Haiti on May 22nd. We all threw our luggage into the bed of a pickup and hopped in. The ride to our guest house was a little over an hour. On the main road to the house, we passed the farm my mom lived on and I swore I would visit there before we left. The house we stayed at was on the compound of a school, which brings me to my first high point.
1. This is Bidjins Forest, the child I sponsor through Mission Waco/Mission World. When we arrived at our house, I noticed the kids at the school wore uniforms that looked very similar to the one Bidjins wore in the pictures I have. I found the one teacher who spoke good English at the school and asked if he went there. He did!!! She called him out in front of everyone. As Bidjins came to the front of the crowd, I could feel my heart exploding and my eyes filling with tears. He was so precious and perfect, and also very embarrassed!! Bidjins doesn't know English so she explained to him who I was in Creole. After learning who this crazy white girl was, he gave me a smile and hugged me. Knowing that he attended school on the same land I was living on made me feel so happy. I could look out at him playing during break every day and know that I was an important part of his life, even if he didn't realize it yet.
2. This is Jeniflo. Her mother died from HIV so her aunt took her and her siblings into her home. Between her siblings and her cousins, there are eight people living in her little hut. Her family is the poorest in the village of Ferrier and they live beside the dump. Despite her difficulties, Jeniflo is so upbeat and always has a smile on her face and is laughing. She visited us every day and immediately connected with me. We hung out every afternoon talking, walking and playing in the streets, drawing and napping on the porch. This picture is special to me because I got to put my tattoo to use. Many of the kids were curious about it, including Jeniflo. A church in Waco donated a suitcase of Creole Bibles so I went inside and grabbed one, which is what's in my hand. Thankfully I knew enough Creole that I knew how to pronounce a simple sentence. I looked up Romans 1:16 and read it to her then sang and taught her "Jesus Loves Me."Jeniflo responded with her beautiful smile, a hug, a praise song in Creole and by proclaiming me her madrina (godmother). I miss her warm hugs and smile every single day. She's one of the main reasons I can't wait to return to Haiti very soon.
3. We did a lot of different activities while in Ferrier. Part of the group were engineering students from Baylor. They assembled solar panels and mounted them on the roof. This provided the guest house and school with power. Before the solar panels were installed, we didn't have electricity for a few days and relied on generators. Two or three nights I showered in the dark with my flashlight! The main activity I participated in was taking water samples. Millions of people around the world still don't have access to clean water. This causes a lot of health problems including chronic diarrhea, malnutrition, stunted growth and diseases. Ferrier and the country of Haiti has a problem with lack of access to clean water. We took samples from runoff, as seen in this picture, the river, private wells and water pumps throughout the village. Back at the guest house we had reagents that we put in the water and let the samples sit for 24-48 hours. If the water turned black, it was unsafe to drink. Many of our samples turned black so hundreds of the people in Ferrier were drinking unsafe water. Zach and some Haitians would later fix the water pumps and shock the water. We were lucky to have clean drinking water in our home. One day we were all sick and ran out of water before noon! This caused a lot of runs to the water pump and to find a generator to get the water system working again. We take this simple, basic need for granted in America.
4. I am very passionate about women and children issues, which was something I also got to work with but don't have pictures for. Seventy percent of the Haitian population has HIV. SEVENTY PERCENT!! Shannon and I created a skit to be used for HIV education. We picked 10 people out of our group and gave them a piece of cardboard. One side was clean and the other side had an X. I narrated different scenarios and if you contracted HIV, you would flip over the cardboard and reveal the X. By the end, seven of us had an X and the mouths in the audience were open. Seeing the skit puts a face on the statistics. I also helped create birthing kits. Most of the time, women in Haiti give birth at home because they don't have transportation to get to the hospital. Their babies contract HIV or other diseases because they use dirty razors or other materials during the birthing process. Our birthing kits contained a clean razor, an alcohol wipe to sanitize the razor, soap to wash your hands and two pieces of rope to tie off the umbilical cord. All of these items were in a match box that could be kept in the woman's pocket. Getting these materials was an adventure!! Shannon and I went to the store without a translator and bought these items, plus condoms for our HIV education. The store owner couldn't understand why two girls needed condoms. It was hilarious because of the language barrier. On Monday night we had the privilege of going to the microcredit women's meeting. In Haiti, women change lives. If a woman has a great idea, she can change and support her family. These business ventures are funded my microcredit loans and about 50 women meet to talk about their ventures and success. At this meeting, we presented a new idea. In Haiti, a girl drops out of school when she gets her period because she doesn't have access to feminine items and it is embarrassing to go to school. Usually there are no bathrooms so there is no place to clean up. A woman in Florida makes snappy pads that snap into your panties. They are washable and reusable. We took three bags of those and three packages of panties. One woman at the meeting jumped off the front row and put on a pair that we were showing. They were a huge hit!! Coming home from that meeting was also a great experience for the girls in our group. We were sore from riding horses earlier that day so riding in the back of a truck was painful. It didn't help that it had been raining so the roads were a mess and filled with ruts. We held on for our lives and laughed all the way back to the house. This is a memory I will always smile about.
5. Remember earlier I talked about the farm my mom lived on? This is it!! My last full day in Haiti Janet came and got me while I was getting ready for the day. She then took me to the farm and gave me a personal tour and told me stories about her time there with my mom and their group. Some of these stories I had never heard! The pictures my mom had always shown me were coming to life. The farm had been abandoned for about a decade so the Haitians had stolen the toilets, pipes and parts of the buildings. Nothing but goats live there now, but it was still amazing to be where my mom lived for three months. My mom and her group used to sing worship and read their Bibles on the ledge behind me. In the middle of the tour I realized how lucky we are to live in the new guest house and also in America. This house didn't have bathrooms in it. You had to walk 40 yards so doing that while you're sick is almost impossible. At the end of the tour, the emotions and experiences from the whole week hit me and I finally broke down. As the rest of the group met up to walk to town, I got some tissue from someone and walked alone. Seeing the home where my mom lived was an amazing experience, but it was my breaking point.
6. Another moment that I will never forget is a series of moments involving song. Each night we would have a time of worship, testimony and prayer. As the week went on, our Haitian friends would join us. At first it was just a translator or Shadrack, our night guard, but the final night there, all of our cooks, translators and Shadrack joined for worship. Some Haitians learn English by singing old hymns and this was the case with our group. We passed out song sheets and sang together, some in Creole and some in English. The house is made of concrete so the acoustics were absolutely beautiful. We even sang song Creole songs in the closet because the acoustics were better haha It was hard not to cry when hearing some of the engineering students and Walson, our translator, sing Amazing Grace. I can still hear it when I close my eyes.....Another way Haitians learn English is through popular music. One day while we were working, Dalince, one of our translators, started playing Backstreet Boys. Even after not listening to them for 10 years, I naturally sang along. The older people in our group sang and danced to Backstreet Boys for the rest of the week while we worked. Haitians have no idea they aren't together anymore and I wasn't breaking that news to them.
I've always been in love with Haiti. God called me to this country years ago and I have patiently waited to go there. This trip was a test to see if this was really what God wanted for me and if I could make it. I, and the rest of my group, was shocked to see how quickly I fit in. The children flocked to me, I naturally picked up Creole and I danced with some Haitian girls at a party which made me a "real Haitian." And you know what? I was only bit by a mosquito three times and I absolutely LOVED the food, even goat. God broke my heart for this country and its people. They are beautiful and God is very present in Ferrier. Many of the villagers can't afford nice clothes, or any at all during the week, but they will spend multiple week's of salary on an outfit for church. We were all shocked to see the outfits and shoes worn at church. They dress nicer than I do and they're in extreme poverty!! They also worship God so loudly. Looking at them, you'd think they have no reason to praise and every reason to be angry with God, but they're not. The churches are packed there and the worship is loud and fun and Spirit-filled.
It's been very hard being back in America. I haven't adjusted yet and I hope I never do. It took me four nights before I could sleep in my bed because I was uncomfortable. My meal portions have shrunk significantly because of what I saw and experienced in Haiti. My showers have become shorter and using water from the sink to brush my teeth is a gift. Air conditioning and electricity is a blessing I never thought I could live without, but learned I could (fans are wonderful). I learned that a smile, hug and a wave are the same in any language and culture. A thumb used for hitch-hiking is too.
It's hard to explain what I feel now. My mom and friends who have lived in third-world countries say this is normal. Sitting in a very large church in downtown Dallas is uncomfortable to me now and brings me to tears. There are days where I want to just be left alone. Sometimes I read my journal or look through pictures of the trip and weep. I also feel empowered and want to change Haiti. God changed me through this trip to Haiti and I will be forever grateful. I may be an American citizen, but Haiti is my home. He will make a way for me to be in Haiti permanently, I just have to be patient.
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